Bullying is a very real issue in schools, and it is only being exacerbated by the rise of anonymous online platforms such as Yik Yak, an app that allows users to post digital comments viewable by anyone within a set distance.
While everyone knows bullying is bad, it often persists in schools because nobody quite knows how to handle it. Students can be told to stop, but what if that doesn't do anything? Pushing perpetrators of bullying out of school may help the victim, but it doesn't actually solve the problem.
While there are some programs aimed at teaching students proper online etiquette, the real way to mitigate the problem starts with the adults and educators in a school. They set the tone from the beginning, and can ideally create an environment where all students feel safe and comfortable.
We connected with Evelyn Rowe-Cosentino, a licensed social worker who currently acts as a school counselor at New York City's York Prep School, to get some tips on how schools and administrators can effectively deal with bullying.
1. Teach students how to identify bullying
Rowe-Cosentino says it is critical that schools teach students how to discern between bullying and teasing. While teasing may be mean, it is generally harmless. Bullying, on the other hand, creates a situation where a student actually feels threatened and uncomfortable. "Bullying is about power. Once the balance of power has been shifted and one party feels threatened, it goes beyond harmless teasing," Rowe-Cosentino says.
So what's an effective technique to mitigate the latter? Rowe-Cosentino says she teaches students to think before they speak by having them imagine two bubble captions hovering just above their heads. "One bubble caption houses students’ thoughts, uncensored. Those are the thoughts you shouldn’t share out loud. The other caption is a clearly thought-out, useful comment or dialog. This is what you should say to a peer," she explains.
Teach students to become upstanding citizens
Teachers and administrators should not be the only people working to help stop bullying. If you create a culture where students feel empowered to stick up for their peers and say, "Hey, that's not cool," when they see someone being mean to another student, you're not only more likely to curb bullying, but also make students feel empathy for one another.
While Rowe-Cosentino acknowledges that this tactic can be hard — especially with younger students who may fear they will become a victim of bullying if they stand up for a classmate — she says if educators teach students what to say and how to say it and make it something of a classroom norm, it will become much easier for students to be "upstanding citizens." Of course, it's also important that students still report the bullying to a teacher even after they take care of it (with words) themselves. "If they do not seek help, often the problem continues," she says.
Get the entire school on board
It's not enough to say a school is a "bully-free-zone." Having an actual tangible action-plan, with guidelines for what is and isn't acceptable behavior, as well as clear punishments that will occur if one does bully another student, is critical. "This ensures that the messaging from faculty members to students is clear and consistent to avoid any confusion regarding acceptable peer-to-peer behavior," says Rowe-Cosentino.
She recommends schools set aside professional development time to have a workshop on bullying, where educators really figure out what their game plan as a school is going to be. Additionally, schools should be open about having conversations with the students about bullying to find out what they think the biggest problems are in addition to the root issues.
Acknowledge Bully Prevention Month in October
This one you'll have to save for next school year, but Rowe-Cosentino recommends that schools take the time to participate and acknowledge anti-bullying month in October. While she thinks the PACER program has some great suggestions, here are a few she has given us: holding a sensitivity training or anti-bullying assembly, having students make banners and flyers promoting kindness and awareness, and/or filming a public service announcement with your school’s broadcasting club.
"This is also a great time of year to educate parents through events and get them involved with their children," she says. "It will also help parents know which signs to watch out for to see whether their child is being bullied, or is him/herself the bully."
Create a Safe Environment for Students to Attend School
At York Prep, where Rowe-Cosentino works, students have the opportunity to attend individual counseling and grade meetings. These opportunities for students to vocalize what is on their mind also provide a chance for the school to show it values its students and cares that they attend the school.
The sessions emphasize social and emotional needs and nurture an environment where students feel comfortable expressing themselves, while also supporting deep relationships allowing them to come to adults and peers with personal struggles. "We, of course, value education, but we also want every child to attend school feeling valued as an individual," Rowe-Cosentino says.
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